Wednesday, July 11, 2012


I've been away form this blog for a long time.  I've had lots to talk about and even some time to write.  Unfortunately, I had a bad experience after my last blog and I've been sort of fearful to write...second-guessing choices I've made about sharing my son's name, his pictures, his milestones.  I shared him with all of you because my blog has always felt like a safe place to me.  A place to be open and honest, to receive love, support and occasionally some gently-worded tough love.  But after my last post, my feelings changed.

In the course of a few hours, I received multiple abusive comments on various posts.  Some went back to early posts I had written.  Some were on newer posts.  Most of them made very little sense, but they did address issues in my posts and, thus, they felt very personal.  It scared me that someone would spend the time and energy spreading cruelty on an infertility blog.  That made me think...if there's someone out there willing to spread such hatred in my direction, what will happen when my son comes across those people.  I wasn't going to even acknowledge what happened, as I was concerned that it would be encouraging the behavior...but I wonder how other women dealing with infertility (especially those with their own blogs) would deal with this situation.  Should I erase every picture of my son?  Go back through and try to remove every mention of his name?  Erase everything?  Go private?  I want to just continue my blog the way it has been...the way that made me happy.  I want to believe that the barrage of horrid messages was just a stupid prank and was a one time ordeal.  I'm just not sure.

On a lighter note, my son is doing really well.  He is 7 months old, has two teeth, is loving hanging out with the nanny everyday, is laughing at EVERYTHING, and is sleeping 10-12 hours a night.  I seriously could not be any luckier.  I returned to work last week, and even though it wasn't easy, it wasn't nearly as hard as I had anticipated it would be.  Seven months of maternity leave was perfect.  I was ready to go back to work...and my son was ready to be without me during the day.  He has developed a milk-protein and soy-protein allergy, so he is on unbelievably expensive formula.  Still...if it helps him keep his formula down, it is worth it.  He weighs about 21 pounds now...but is still super-short.  He's mostly bald, but the hair is starting to fill in on top.  We still can't tell what color his hair is going to be.  It is red in the sunlight but medium brown in indoor lighting.  I'm still at that stage where everything is exciting to me.  He spills a glass of ice tea off the coffee table for the first time and I'm running to the baby book to record his "first destructive gesture."  I'm ridiculous really...but I'm enjoying myself.

I hope to write soon about the things that I actually want to talk about, but I need to ease back into this.  In the meantime, I am trying to catch-up on everyone else's posts. 


Marianne said...

I can't believe you would get abusive comments. You don't seem controversial!!!

It's so fun following blogs of people with babies close in age to mine :-). My little one turns 7 months this saturday.

I hope things continue to go well!

Brad & Rachel said...

LONG time follower, first comment though!
What is wrong with people?! I am sorry that you had to deal with someone who feels so inadequate in their own life that they need to make others feel badly about theirs. It's frustrating when people lash out like that and you have no idea what you did to make it be aimed in your direction. I say "eff" them. It's your life, not theirs. I understand that it's easy to take things personally when this happens. I, for one, think you have an amazing story. Don't let anyone make you feel like you need to change the way you're doing things if that's the way that makes you happiest. You'll always get support from me!

Jennifer said...

Maybe you should lock / hide old entries - anything more than a couple of months old. Does Blogger let you do that? You can do it with Wordpress.

Lindsey said...

I'm so sorry about the commenter. I read their comment on your last post but it didn't make any sense... Except that it was about CPS... Any chance your mom or sister could have found your blog?
I'm so glad Ian is doing so well, my little guy is also allergic to milk. And we're pretty sure eggs, soy, corn and rice. Ouch right? Right now I'm still trying to cling to BF but not sure it will last long.
I miss you do I hope you come back dispite the nastiness.

DandelionBreeze said...

That is so cruel... there are so many heartless people out there :( I'm glad your back and here with you every step. Love to you always xoxo

3 Bed, 2 Bath, 1 Baby said...

I've had a few weird comments like the ones on the last few posts you got.

I was able to curtail a lot of them by not allowing anonymous comments, as then people won't take the time to have a user name.

Sorry they said that stuff though, ick!

Christina said...

1st off- Yay, Ian! I'm so glad he's doing well, other than teh allergies. Congrats on 7m off and now going back to work. And I'm right there with you, everything IS exciting right now!

2nd- WTF with the abusive comments? I don't even have a clue what they could be complaining or criticizing about? Some people just don't have anything better to do with their time and pent up anger or frustrations. You should do what you feel most comfortable with in reagrds to Ian and this blog. I do agree with PP about the no anonymous posters.

Anonymous said...

As an anonymous poster (who doesn't have her own blog b/c I'm a complete idiot when it comes to technology!) I can say that I'm so glad you have kept your blog open to people like myself that enjoy reading. I'm so sorry you got unwelcome posts. I agree that it's scary and just plain sad that someone would do that. I have a 6 month old, so it's been nice to follow along your journey with you. My daughter also has a milk/soy protein allergy and has been on Alimentum since 11 weeks when I stopped bfing. It looks like some insurances may cover the formula if you have a prescription from your doctor though. I'm in the process of getting reimbursed right now.

S said...

Thinking of you, Princess. Hope things are going well for you.

Anonymous said...

I was diagnosed with POF in March and found your blog this afternoon. Needless to say I read it start to finish in one afternoon! Thank you for all of your honest posts and congrats! My husband and I are starting DE IVF in the next few months. I would love to read a post from you reflecting on DE and how you feel about it now that you have your baby in your arms. Thanks!