Hello Again

To state the obvious…I haven’t posted much lately.  After my last post about a Facebook announcement, I realized that my moods and my feelings about things are shifting too rapidly right now to be using my blog in the same way I used to.  Perfectly well-meaning and reasonable comments hurt my feelings on one day and seem like great advice the next.  I don’t know what I want to do right now about Facebook’s relationship to my pregnancy.  What I do know is that I never want this blog to become something that causes me anxiety or negative feelings, and it has a little bit lately.  I think I need to stop analyzing every little decision I make during this pregnancy (which is easier said than done, as “over-analyzing” is my M.O.), and just go with my gut.  I understand that this approach could lead to unintended, even negative consequences later on.  But I truly believe that cleaning up messes I’ve made can’t be worse than the persistent worrying I’ve been doing over the last three months.   I need to start trying to make the right decisions for me, with less emphasis on how my decisions affect others.  That probably sounds really selfish, but I need to be a little selfish right now.  I need to put the baby first, and that means putting myself first, too.  I haven’t been doing that.

On a lighter note, my sister-in-law finally had her baby.  My sister-in-law (a pre-pregnancy size 0, with the tiniest hips you’ve ever seen) was allowed to go a week and a half past her due date by her doctor (surprising to me).  Finally, on Thursday, they were alarmed when the baby’s estimated weight came in at 10 pounds.  A quick decision was made to do a C-section, as there was little chance of my sister-in-law getting that baby out the old fashion way.  It wasn’t what my sister-in-law had wanted, but she is pretty easy going, and she put the baby’s needs ahead of her own desires (of course).  The baby girl (the gender had been a secret)– Taylor Leigh – was born on Friday, weighing 9 pounds and 14 ounces.  She’s sooooooo beautiful and I wish I could spend more time with her.  Unfortunately, I got sick a few times during our two visits to the hospital this weekend, so I don’t think more extended visits are in my future just yet.

Spending time with Taylor and my sister-in-law had an unexpected effect on me.  In the last couple of days, I have totally bonded with little Baby Hamish (FYI- The Prince’s family is HORRIFIED that I am even indulging The Prince in allowing “Hamish” as a pre-birth nickname.  The Prince stands no chance of getting “Hamish” on the birth certificate).  Seeing Taylor go from her mommy’s tummy into our arms over the course of a couple of days has helped me to remember that, all too soon, my pregnancy is going to be over and I will have our baby in my arms.  While that will be an amazing, exciting time, I really want to savor the remaining six months of what will in all likelihood be my only pregnancy.