Thursday, June 2, 2011

Worry Wart

I don't know where the term "worry wart" came from, but people have used it to describe me at various times throughout my life.  I never took it as a particularly insulting label, but now that I think of it, "wart" isn't exactly a term of endearment. 

Today, I am full of worry.  When my family came this weekend, they brought colds with them.  The Prince got sick on Sunday and I followed suit on Monday.  We both have been getting progressively worse, but have been telling ourselves that it is just a cold and it will pass.  But the last two days I have been struggling to keep my fever under 101 F, and having a high fever in early pregnancy is not a good thing.

Yesterday my mother informed me that they all ended up going to the doctor on Tuesday, and they all have strep throat and sinus infections.  The doctor put all four people who were in my house this weekend on antibiotics.  UGH!  So now, even though it doesn't feel like I have strep throat, I am terrified that I should be going and getting antibiotics.  I'm nervous about what effect, if any, my difficulty breathing is having on the baby.  And there is worse...

I haven't felt any pregnancy symptoms in two days.  Last week at this time I was throwing up so much I had to be put on medications.  I was exhausted all of the time and had serious smell aversions.  Perhaps most telling, my lady lumps were incredibly hard and painful all of the time.  (These are not complaints, just observations).  In the last two days, I haven't needed to take the nausea medicine.  My breasts are not tender and, even though I am sick, I haven't taken any naps.  We are officially at 7 weeks today...I don't think the symptoms should just disappear this early on.

I'm trying to not worry.  I'm trying to tell myself that the cold (or whatever this is) is probably just throwing things out of whack (it's not like you can have smell aversions when you can't breath through your nose).  I'm trying to tell myself that this is probably normal and that I just don't know what "normal" is because I haven't ever been pregnant before.  I'm also trying to tell myself that this could just be a downshift in my hormones because we officially lost the twin.  Horrible that the thought of these symptoms (or actually, lack of symptoms) being caused by losing the twin is now my "comforting thought."  But the other thought is unspeakable.

We have our next ultrasound tomorrow.  So I just have to hold out until then.  I will keep putting my hand on my belly and telling my little one to hang in there.  I will keep praying that there is a solid little heartbeat on the screen tomorrow, and I will be thankful for that heartbeat, even if there is "official" bad news coming along with it. 


Endo_Life said...

I am so glad you have your ultrasound tomorrow. Hang in there sweetie I am sure it is just the cold and all else is fine. Thinking of you xxx

Christina said...

It may just be the illness taking over. It could also be the loss of the twin reducing the symptoms. It could very well be completely normal as things progress.

I started out with quite a few symptoms; only the "morning" sickness and fatigue got worse. Everything else slowly faded or improved between wk 6 and 7.

I don't think the worry will ever stop. The u/s just give us that bit of reassurance here and there that helps us from completely freaking out.

Thinking of you 2 and hoping you get well soon!

Anonymous said...

praying for you

Jammie J. said...

Don't know if it's of comfort, but at 7 weeks, I caught the flu... with a fever of 101° and severe diarrhea. My RE's office told me to pack my arm pits, crotch and back of the neck with cold packs and take tylenol.

For nasal issues, I use one of those NeilMed sinus rinse kits. One of the best things I've ever invested.

Also, at 7-8 weeks, the placenta starts to kick in a little bit which can result in a lack of pregnancy symptoms for a couple days and, possibly, some spotting. Both of which I had.

I'm praying for you. Just hold on to the fact that it's one more sleep until you get to see your baby again.

Sandy said...

I'm sending positive thoughts and prayers your way. I'm sorry you have had so much stress lately. Hang in there!

S said...

Hope today's ultrasound went well, and I hope you're over your illness soon.

D said...

Sending you lots of love and prayers. My friend told me that pregnancy symptoms will come and go. Certain days you will feel like you aren't even pregnant and then it will smash you on the head again later. It's such a rollercoaster. Good luck today. Maybe I'll see you there. (((hugs)))

Princess Wahna Bea Mama said...

Thanks for all of the great advice on dealing with sickness during early pregnancy, and for all of the support. I ended up going to the doctor yesterday and being put on a Class B antibiotic. The risk of the infection hurting the baby outweighed the risk of the antibiotic so I am comfortable with our decision. Plus, I am already starting to feel better. Thanks again.