The Devil You Know...

We have a doula!  After the fiasco that has been going on with the pregnancy over the last couple of days, it is such a relief to have something settled…something set in stone.  I will write a post soon talking a little about our doula, how the interview really changed The Prince’s perspective, and about my expectations going into this situation.  But, for today, I have some loose ends that I need to tie up. 

My appointment with Dr. B yesterday was really frustrating (again).  One person tells me I have an emergency situation and then another person, from the same office, tells me that maybe I have an ear infection.  In the course of the couple of hours I was at Dr. B’s office, I received three conflicting theories about what could be causing the dizziness and fainting.  None of the theories adequately explain the situation in my mind and the only “treatment” offered was “lay down whenever you start feeling dizzy.”  Really?  I’m going to lay on the floor at work?  Or better yet, lay on the sidewalk on my walk from the parking garage into work?  The baby’s heart rate is good and regular, and the baby is still kicking the Doppler probe, so it seems as though my little one is still unaffected by everything that has been going on.  Still, in part because my blood glucose levels are still not in the ideal range in Dr. B’s opinion, I was strongly encouraged to keep my anatomy scan appointment at the end of this month (as if wild horses could drag me away from a chance to see our baby again…and hopefully find out the gender).

I have an appointment with Dr. B the same day as the scan.  Last night, I realized, that is likely going to be my “break-up” appointment.  The Prince thinks we should just go to a new doctor and have them arrange the transfer of our records, to avoid any awkwardness.  But I would hate it if someone did that to me in my professional life.  I am strongly considering looking into finding a new OBGYN who actually works at a third hospital in our area (not the small one, or the large teaching hospital I’ve previously blogged about).  The third hospital, we’ll call it Pete’s, is even closer to us than the teaching hospital and Pete’s has remodeled its labor and maternity ward, creating private rooms and better facilities.  We hadn’t considered Pete’s as an option previously because we assumed we would be using Dr. B, and she doesn’t deliver at Pete’s.  But my relationship with Dr. B is cooling quickly and so Pete’s is back on the table as a possibility.  There are still advantages to giving birth at the teaching hospital, but our doula (who has attended over 50 births in all of the area hospitals) mentioned that, out of the three hospitals we are considering, Pete’s is the best about allowing the mother to birth her way (i.e., walking around or laying in a tub as necessary, having a doula in the OR during a c-section, etc.).  Plus, if we choose to use Pete’s, the break-up with Dr. B is easy – “Sorry.  We decided we want to deliver at Pete’s.  It stinks that you don’t have privileges there, but it is so close to our home, we just feel it is the right move for us.  Could you transfer our records to Dr…?”   

Last night I couldn’t sleep because I got so anxious about what to do about my relationship with Dr. B.  I haven’t blogged about all of the issues I’ve had with Dr. B, but there have been a lot of small oversights that have created more work for me (involving her filling out my Family Medical Leave Act Paperwork wrong) and could have potentially been dangerous for the baby (a medication mix-up).  Plus, yesterday she accidentally provided me with information about my anonymous donor…information Dr. B had obtained for genetic testing purposes that I wasn’t supposed to have, and didn’t want to know.  I don’t know whether I am more upset that I know some of my donor’s information (somehow, I feel like my privacy was violated, even though it was the donor’s basic information that was divulged) or if I am more upset that Dr. B was so absent-minded that she could look right at me and try to confirm that my birthdate is the birthdate of a 23 year old from another part of the state.  Either way, I’m not sure I can salvage this relationship.

But, I am anxious about the prospect of finding a new doctor – the whole “better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know” thing.  I am anxious about choosing the right OBGYN (as I apparently struck-out this time) and the right hospital.  I know that the end result is the same regardless of where I choose to give birth…I bring home a healthy baby.  But I care about the experience leading up to the end result.  I care about feeling comfortable with my OBGYN.  And, while I know that no choice I make will cause any catastrophic repercussions, I still feel like these are important decisions…and I want to get them right.   

To end this blog on a high note…our genetic testing came back (even though I had to ask for the results because Dr. B’s office forgot to send them to me) and our baby has a 1 in 10,000 chance of having each of the genetic abnormalities for which they test.  And…The Prince is reading an evolutionary psychology book about parenting.  He has informed me that studies show that the chance of a baby being born with an IQ over 130 is 7%.  But, in mothers who have hyperemesis beyond the first trimester, that number goes up to 30%.  Researchers can’t figure out why, but they’ve isolated out all of the other obvious variables, and the data seems to show that hyperemesis is good for the baby’s intelligence.  So…every time I get sick now, The Prince starts chanting “Puke, puke, puke, puke!  It’s good for the baby!”  My supportive hubby.