Then and Now

INFERTILITY v PREGNANCY

Then:   Sick and bloated from fertility medications

Now:   Sick and bloated from pregnancy hormones

Then:   Relying on my friends to put up with my constant need for support and reassurance

Now:   Relying on my friends to put up with my “falling off the face of the Earth” for days at a time

Then:   Scared I would never get to experience the joy of being pregnant

Now:   Scared that I am taking the joy of being pregnant for granted as the weeks fly by

Then:   Struggling to not feel guilty about my need to take care of myself above all else

Now:   Struggling to not feel guilty about my need to take care of myself and the baby above all else

Then:   Irritated that pregnant women can be so insensitive

Now:   Irritated that I may have become the insensitive pregnant woman

Then:   Feeling guilty for not being able to get pregnant

Now:   Feeling guilty for being pregnant when some of my friends are not

Then:   Hopeful that each cycle was going to be “the one” for me and The Prince

Now:   Hopeful that each cycle is going to be “the one” for my fertility friends

(AS AN ASIDE…AS I WAS WRITING THIS, WE JUST HAD A SMALL EARTHQUAKE.  I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE UNTIL MY COWORKERS TOLD ME THE BUILDING WAS BEING EVACUATED BECAUSE OF THE SHAKING.  THE BABY WAS KICKING…SO I DIDN’T REALLY FEEL THE FLOOR SHAKING.  OBVIOUSLY, I AM BACK TO FINISHING THIS ENTRY…SO IT WASN’T SERIOUS.  A 5.8 STARTED IN VIRGINIA AND MANAGED TO MAKE ITS WAY TO US…IN UPSTATE NY).

Then:   Noticed the small earthquake we had last summer

Now:   Oblivious to small earthquakes

Then:   Worried that conceiving via donor eggs would make me feel like less of a "mother"

Now:   Already feeling like I am 100% the mother of the baby inside me

Then:   Grateful for this blog and the amazing friends I’ve made through the blog

Now:   Grateful for this blog and the amazing friends I’ve made through the blog