Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The Sweetest Thing

Three years ago my husband and I were cutting our wedding cake as “The Sweetest Thing” by U2 played.  The Prince didn’t know what he was supposed to do, so he cut himself a piece of cake and started eating it…as I stood there… horrified, my mouth agape.  Everyone laughed (even me, eventually).  There was a lot of laughter back then.  The Prince and I had already started fertility treatments a few months before the wedding, though we hadn’t told anyone about it.  We didn’t think we would ever need to tell anyone.  We were so hopeful and naïve…we even fantasized about conceiving a “miracle baby,” on our honeymoon…on the cruise ship – The Miracle. 

Fast forward three years…we’ve finally conceived our “miracle baby,” but it certainly didn’t happen on our honeymoon.  There are a lot of happy tears these days, but not quite as much laughter.  We know what pain is.  We know what it feels like to watch circumstances beyond our control slowly tearing our relationship apart.  But, more importantly, we know that our love is stronger than those circumstances…and with a little work (okay…a lot of work)…we can keep our relationship in a happy and healthy place.  Do I sometimes wish we could be happier?  Of course.  I would love to go back to all the laughter and blissful ignorance.  But do I now recognize how lucky I am to have a true “partner” in my life…someone who has been “field-tested?”  Absolutely!

There was a small part of me that believed that our relationship might return to its former self once I got pregnant.  I thought that, perhaps, we could leave infertility in our rearview mirror and forget the pain and disappointments.  It doesn’t work that way…or at least it hasn’t worked that way for us.  Our relationship remains changed from what it first was and maybe that is actually a good thing.  We appreciate the gift we’ve been given…the little life growing in my belly.  But we are always alert…waiting for the next obstacle to pop up in our path.  And we are now better at dealing with the obstacles as a team, instead of two individuals walking the same path at the same time.

This morning, The Prince gave me an anniversary card from him “and Hamish.”  It was addressed to his “Sweetest Thing.”  I don’t think The Prince remembers that “The Sweetest Thing” was playing during our cake cutting…I think he was trying to add some levity to my recent “gestational diabetes” diagnosis.  But it doesn’t matter.  The card made me remember where we’ve been and where we’re going…as a couple and as a family.  And today…on my third wedding anniversary…I feel truly blessed.


Michelle D said...

Happy Anniversary!! Enjoy the day. It's so true everything you said about infertility changing things. I love the "field tested" in regards to a partner. Parenthood will probably be as challenging (in a good way) as infertility can be...at least it was for us with twins. So glad things are going well for you guys. Take care and keep enjoying wedded bless :)

Lindsey said...

Happy anniversary! I'm glad the Prince (and hamish) gave you a sweet card, I always have to tell Blue he has to do things like that!

Willow said...

Happy anniversary! We did our cake cutting to "The Sweetest Thing" too--love it!

meant to be a mom said...

Happy anniversary (Oh, and now that song is stuck in my head. lol)!