Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Facebook Is NOT My Friend

(Not my rainbow...but similar)

This morning, I woke up and went to my computer to check my email and Facebook page.  I had a couple of messages on Facebook, one of which was a video message from The Prince’s cousin.  It was a video of her four-year old daughter announcing that there was a baby “this big” (picture a child making her fingers in the shape of a peanut) in her mommy’s belly.  She went on to say that she was announcing that in October, she will be a big sister.  The video announcement was adorable, really, but watching it, I felt my eyes welling-up with tears (a feeling I am becoming all too familiar with).  I sent back the obligatory “congratulations!” to the cousin before opening the next message.  I kid you not… the very next message was a picture of my “friend’s” pregnant belly, and its progression throughout the last few months (she’s due in late May).  Thanks!  Just what I always wanted…pictures of your pregnant belly!  She doesn’t know about my struggles with infertility, but really?!? Who wants pictures of someone else’s pregnant belly?!?

It seems as though every day, I start my day with a review of my Facebook page, only to be assaulted by a barrage of baby updates.  This weekend, my mother-in-law’s status was that she was “going baby shopping with her baby.”  My sister-in-law is constantly gushing on Facebook about how amazing it is to be pregnant.  They know about my infertility struggles and how hard my sister-in-law’s pregnancy has been on me, but for some reason, people seem to not mind saying things on Facebook that they would never say in-person.  Infertility friends post constant updates about their pregnancies, knowing that their friends who are still struggling with infertility will have to read those posts.  Family members send me messages announcing their pregnancies and saying things like “It’s gotta’ be your turn soon.”  Yeah. That’s what I’ve been saying for three years, but each morning, I find out it was someone else’s turn…not mine.

So this morning, I was driving to work, thinking about how I really am doing this to myself.  I could boycott Facebook and save myself the pain, but I don’t.  It’s like watching reality television…you know it is going to be a painful experience but you do it anyways…just because.  Then…mid-miserable thought…I saw it!  A rainbow in the sky, in the middle of winter!  I’ve never seen a rainbow in a New York winter, and it brought an immediate smile to my face.  Having attended church as a child, I immediately thought “God’s promise.” (Noah’s ark reference).  Smiling, I drove down the road, remembering the rainbow but also letting my thoughts drift back to the Facebook conundrum.  I came to the realization that I am not going to stop using Facebook…even though it is not my friend right now.  I like the convenience of knowing each day how all of my friends and family are doing (Yes…even my pregnant family and friends).  But…I RAINBOW-IN-THE-WINTER-SKY-PROMISE that, when my turn comes around, I will not post: (1) my pregnancy announcement, (2) a due date calendar, (3) updates about each ultrasound and kick, (4) pictures of my pregnant belly, or (5) pictures of my ultrasound photos.  I will find other ways to let the people I love know about my pregnancy updates.  And, if I fail to uphold this RAINBOW-IN-THE-WINTER-SKY-PROMISE, may a winter rainbow come down from the heavens and BONK me right on the crown.


Lindsey said...

As always we're on the same page. I've debated ending the facebook torture many a time. I actually rarely check it anymore, but I can't let it go completely... I'm with you on this rainbow promise, lets make it a pact, Inferts unite!

New Year Mum said...

I'm with you guys... I only check is occasionally but haven't cancelled my account yet. Can't let it go completely either... nice to know how everyone is doing from a distance sometimes. Love your rainbow promise - I'll join your pact too :)) xoxo

aliciamarie911 said...

I'm constantly getting baby and toddler adds on the side of my facebook. I hit the X and claim it as "offensive". I thought about boycotting Facebook too, but I have too many people on there that I'd like to keep in touch with.

One Cycle at a Time said...

I couldn't deal with FB either. I have pretty much stopped checking it. I get alerted if someone sends me a message and then I'll check it. Other than that I avoid it. I put all that time I used to spend on FB in reading all these kick-ass blogs. :-)

S said...

Ugh, Facebook. I have a real love/hate relationship with that site!

For the sake of my sanity, I have ended up using the "hide" function on all pregnant and SAHM friends who cannot refrain from regularly posting about their pregnancies or children. That way I can still visit their profiles when I'm in the right frame of mind to see their news without being bombarded by it in my news feed.

The harder one for me has been all the pregnancy announcements on FB! Because there is no way to see them coming and "hide" them so I don't have to see them.

China Doll said...

Definitely hide those pregnant people!

And love this comment:
I'm constantly getting baby and toddler adds on the side of my facebook. I hit the X and claim it as "offensive"


joluvskev said...

I agree with S, Hide, Hide, Hide those profiles. I know these other people are excited to share their joy, but it's a slap in our face--albiet unintentional. I have 4 profiles hidden. i do check them occassionally, but I do have to be in the right frame of mind as well.