When the Prince returned to his kingdom last evening, he was calmer, happier and more sympathetic than he has been in awhile. He claims that he just went to a hotel, watched movies on television, and was bored over the weekend. But I think some internal dialogue must have occurred, even if subconsciously, because he appears to be in a different place emotionally than where he was when he left Saturday morning. Last night, he must have said “I’m sorry your stomach hurts” at least fifteen times. That’s pretty impressive for the Prince, who is rarely aware of the world around him. Also, when I said that I was feeling like I can handle this pain for one more week (which is hopefully the longest that I have to deal with it), the Prince said “I’m sorry you are going through this, but it will be over soon because this cycle is going to work.”
Now, before when he insisted that this cycle was going to work, it felt different…like he was just in denial and couldn’t fathom the possibility of the cycle not working. There was desperation in his voice and his words made me feel more pressured and worried about what would happen if this cycle didn’t work. But when, last night, he stated that the cycle was going to work, he just seemed very calm and very optimistic. So much so, that his hope and security made me feel optimistic, too. It’s as if he knows something I don’t and is letting me in on the secret. He’s just certain.
Self-preservation has not yet allowed me to fully embrace hope, and I’m running out of time to do so. But the Prince is definitely in a good place this cycle and that’s a start.
3 comments:
Wishing you all the best.
YEA!!! Glad it all worked out....sometimes 'running away' is the best medicine :)
Wonderful start to this cycle... must make a huge difference to have his support and optimism. Hoping so much that this cycle works out for you. With you every step of the way and cheering you on from Australia :)) xoxo
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