Let There Be Light

Yesterday was a fabulous day!  There was no certain event I can point to that made it so good…it just was.  I felt more positive, happy and (dare I say it) hopeful yesterday than I have felt in a long time.  During yoga and acupuncture, my mind kept wandering to the questions: “Why am I so happy today?  What is different from yesterday, or the day before that?”  There are couple of possible answers to these questions, but I think I know the “best” answer…It was sunny!!!

After almost five months of (literal) bitter cold and grayness all around me, yesterday the sunshine came out and the temperature climbed into the low 60’s (Fahrenheit).   I was able to commute with my car windows down.  I was able to take a short walk outside on my lunch break.  It was delightful.  That one shift in my scenery – sunlight - filled me with a renewed strength that I had been desperately searching for during the last couple of months.  (In fairness…it was also St. Patrick’s Day…which means everyone was wearing my favorite color – green – and a lot of people were drunk very early in the day…making them much more friendly and pleasant to be around.  I also think that all of the awesome comments on my “Lucky Me” post made it a good day because it is just such a relief to hear that I am not overreacting…which is what all of the fert’s around me would say.  Support and camaraderie is so uplifting).  But back to the sunshine...

In fairy tales, there is always (or at least almost always) a portion of the story that happens in a dark place.  Sometimes storm clouds roll in.  Sometimes darkness falls over the land.  Sometimes the heroes of the stories find themselves trapped in a dark forest with their nemesis pursuing them.  And then…the sunlight reappears and you know that “happily ever after” is right around the corner.  If you look at a story book, “happily ever after” NEVER is depicted in stormy, gray, drizzly weather.  There is something about light and sunshine that evokes an emotional response, universally, within us as humans, and it allows us to believe in miracles and happy outcomes.  Authors know it…and now that I’ve thought about it, I know it.

Even though it is supposed to rain today, and Monday, and Tuesday…I am of the opinion that, if I can just grab onto the sunshine every time it appears and ride the wave of happiness that comes with it, I might be able to be where I want to be emotionally very soon.  I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel (sorry…bad cliché and bad pun).  There’s a chance that I will be able to go into this cycle hopeful that my nemesis – IF – is being left behind me.  And even though I know there will be set backs and bumps in the road between now and beta day (still a couple of months away), today I am feeling like my "happily ever after" might be on the way.