Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Quick Pre-Transfer Update

This is NOT the update I had assumed I would be giving you.  Well…this first part is.  We made it to the city where we are having our transfer.  We got checked into the hotel that our fertility center has a rate deal with.  It’s charming and quaint, but the pillows are little and the bed is hard.  Oh well.  Not the most important things.  The Prince and I had a nice dinner last night and I ran my ANJI IVF Meditation CD on continuous loop all night.  The morning, The Prince said that his uterus is good to go, too…so we’re ready.  Except…

First, The Prince woke up with his eye all pink and swollen shut this morning.  He wears contacts and, even though he is diligent about cleaning them and not wearing them for too long, he gets eye infections fairly frequently.  Unfortunately, his medicine is at home, so it is a swollen and red eye for him today.  I’ve never caught an eye infection from him (mainly because I am super diligent about him washing his hands incessantly while he has it), but we’re a little worried that they might not let him into the transfer room with me because of it.  We completely understand why they would be concerned and we would never want to jeopardize the status of a “clean room” for ourselves or others.  However, we are hoping that they can give him so gloves and a pair of goggles (like the ones they made him wear during my prior retrievals, so he can be there with me.  There isn’t a lot of “togetherness” in this process.  I would hate to lose what little we can have.

Second, (and here’s the bigger pre-transfer surprise), my sister (yes…24 year-old, gave away two year-old with husband who was being deported to Belize, can’t take care of her kids and allegedly had a miscarriage when I last visited her sister) called me yesterday in tears.  She had gone to the doctor because she was having terrible pains in her uterus and thought something had gone wrong with the miscarriage.  Well (I bet you can guess what is coming), the miscarriage was not a miscarriage because she is 4 to 6 weeks pregnant.  She asked for an abortion on the spot (and she has always said she could never have an abortion, so that’s a big deal for her) and the doctor told her she has to wait a couple of weeks, until she sees a heartbeat on an ultrasound before they can discuss that.  I won’t get into the ethical issues surrounding abortion, but I think that everyone can agree that, when a free clinic doctor has a 24 year-old who has been begging for a tubal for two years and admittedly cannot take care of her two kids she has the way she wants to, to say that the 24 year-old cannot have a tubal (after 6 pregnancies, now) and has to let her baby grow to the point of seeing a heartbeat before she can terminate the pregnancy is INSANE!  My sister begged me on the phone yesterday to adopt the baby, which I explained is a problem given that, in the US, the father’s parental rights don’t terminate just because he is in another country…so “if she is sure he is the father…despite the fact that the pregnancy would have occurred right on the bubble of when he was leaving”…I don’t think she has a lot of options.  Anyways, I’m not going to get into this more than that right now.  I have to stop.

When I got the call yesterday, it felt like God/the Universe had kicked me right in the gut…quite literally.  I had a tough time breathing and it took my stomach hours to unclench.  The two and a half hour drive was therapeutic and, by the time we got to this city last night, I was okay with the thought that this is a test…a seriously screwed up test…but only a test.  I am not good at setting stressful things aside to focus on the task at hand, but that is exactly what I am going to do today.  I have at least a couple of weeks and likely months to figure out how to help my sister and her child as best I can.  But right now, there is nothing I can do for her so I am going to set her situation aside, in a little box, in the attic of my mind…and I am remaining Positive Polly…soon to be Pregnant Positive Polly.

So with that, I thank you all for your support and kindness.  I’m taking it all in with me today and just basking in it.  Not pink eye, nor sister’s pregnancy, can bring me down today.  Today is Little Hamish Day…and my uterus has a job to do.

P.S.  The Prince is currently singing a “I feel like someone just peed all over my face….uh oh…nothing rhymes with ‘face’” song.  Apparently the shower pressure sucks!  And apparently my husband needs those “rhyming word” flash cards.  LOL.


Christina said...

I think it is great that you are focusing on the good that will come out of this transfer over everything else!

Happy Hamish Day, Pregnant Positive Polly!

One Cycle at a Time said...

It's hard to believe Transfer Day is finally here!!! Good luck!! I'm sure its hard keeping a positive attitude when you have a situation like that, but little Hammish needs it!! :-)

Good luck!!!!!

annoyed army wife said...

Good luck, good luck, good luck! I'm going to be thinking of you guys. I'm sorry you are going through the drama with your sister and The Prince has an eye infection, but it IS just a test and I know you are going to pass with flying colors!

Lindsey said...

Happy Hamish Day!! I can't believe today is your transfer day allready! I've got everything crossed for you!