So Here's the Mother's Day Situation...



I know that this is Mother’s Day (or at least American Mother’s Day) and that today is one of the suckiest days of the entire year for a lot of women dealing with infertility.  I don’t want to make anyone’s day any worse, and I’ve really struggled about whether I should save this post for tomorrow to avoid the possibility of hurting anyone.  But in the end, my selfish needs have to come first on this blog.  So if you are getting the feeling that this post might make your day worse, I won’t be upset if you stop reading and I hope that today is gentle on you.

For three years, I’ve waited to be pregnant…even a little bit pregnant.  I have never had the joy of getting a positive pregnancy test…not even a chemical pregnancy…nothing.  So, imagine my joy when on Day 2 of “my experiment”…on Mother’s Day…I FINALLY GOT MY POSITIVE!!!



In all fairness, it isn’t yet a “strong” positive (I don't know that it has yet risen to the level of "BFP," perhaps just "P"), so I’ve given you a comparison picture between yesterday’s late morning test (top) and this morning’s test (bottom)…in case the second line was hard for you to see in the first picture.  After 23 pictures of these pregnancy tests, and about 100 examinations, I can assure you, there is a “positive” line and my mind is not playing tricks on me.  (I just checked again…just to make sure).  I’ve even tried the different light sources and there is no light in which I don’t see the line, faint as it may be.

After I got the positive (while The Prince was still sleeping), I put on my “Situation” t-shirt, brushed my teeth, did my hair, and decided to wait for him to wake-up on his own.  But then…before he could wake-up…the t-shirt came off and I jumped back into bed.  I’m not ready to tell him.  I’m shaking and excited and am not sure what will come out of my mouth when I open it, but I don’t WANT to tell him right now.  I know that if I tell him this morning, he will still have to leave to spend the entire day at his parents’ restaurant.  I know it will be almost impossible for him not to tell them if he is there alone with them (I am the self-restraint in the relationship, if you can believe that), and I will be really hurt and upset if he tells them before we get to the first ultrasound.  That was our deal…if we make it to a heartbeat, we get to make the announcement (or should I say…I get to make the announcement for us).  Plus, I’m not delusional.  I know that I am only a teensy bit pregnant, and I can’t “take it to the bank” just yet.  I don’t want to have to “un-announce” a pregnancy days after we (The Prince) announced it.

So, until The Prince gets home tonight, I will keep the t-shirt locked away.  I will swallow the huge, excited lump in my throat, and I will wait…wait until he comes home and has a chance to relax.  I will wait until we can really enjoy the news together…on Mother’s Day…because after three years on this horrible quest, we deserve a little happiness together.