Wednesday, May 11, 2011

(These are the views from outside my workplace yesterday....  What a beautiful day!)

I wanted to start today's post with something other than a POAS...but now, it is time to see the culmination of The Experiment.

Today's line is pretty dark...which makes me pretty happy.  I'm really looking forward to getting on with the blood test tomorrow and making all of this "official."  I think it was good to do "The Experiment," because it kept me feeling informed and sane during the last few days, but I'm also glad it is over.  Something has happened to me, having the POAS schedule to follow, and I'm not thrilled about it.  It is like the fun of seeing the positive is gone...and it is WAY to early for my elation about this pregnancy to be diminished.

Speaking of elation about the pregnancy...again I must friends are awesome!  Last night, we went out, and although not everyone knew about the information I was sitting on, we had a great time.  Those that did know found ways to sneak in a congrats and they really brought back that excited, "crap I'm going to cry I'm so happy" feeling.  Their enthusiasm about this pregnancy is amazing.  I feel so much better knowing that people did not have the hurt feelings that I was afraid they would have.  I don't want to be a source of pain for anyone.

Speaking of pain (I know, I need a new tie-in), The Prince is being weird...or just rude.  I'm not freaking out about it because I think he is panicking about the reality of the pregnancy but is having the good sense to keep that to himself...but it still stinks.  I want the fairy tale prince and instead I am stuck with reality. 

Yesterday, I got on a pregnancy calendar website and discovered that it actually isn't weird for me to be so tired already, as my body is attempting to increase my blood supply by 30 to 50% right now and my heart is already starting to beat 10-15 additional beats per minute.  I also learned that the embryos don't nestle in to the lining, like sweet little beans...the implantation process is more of a hostile take-over.  The embryos excrete ("spew") an enzyme that burns a hole in the lining of the uterus and they burrow into the bleeding ulceration they created.  What is funny, is that as I read that, I laughed.  I'm betting most women would get freaked out about that visual, but I've waited so long for an embryo to burrow in, I don't care how it happens.  Bring on the Sci-Fi movie scenes in my long as it results in a baby.  I told The Prince all of this information and he said "I know something else that the early pregnancy makes the pregnant woman spew out tons of useless facts."  I was NOT PLEASED!!!  I explained that, given that The Prince hasn't read a book that isn't a chemistry text in over ten years (seriously...and I may be giving him too much credit with the ten years estimate), I don't hold out any hope that he is going to read any pregnancy books.  So, I will have to take in the information for him and "spew out" the facts that I deem relevant to him...and he will like it and appreciate my extra effort...or else.  I would blame hormones for that response, but I think that would have been my response without the hormones, too.  I know that the women carries most of the weight of the pregnancy (literally and figuratively), but I am not letting The Prince off the hook completely.  After all of the poking and prodding and medication side effects I've dealt with over the last three years, while he looked on, hoping that it worked and I produce him "an heir," he's getting in the trenches with me during this pregnancy.  I'll give him a little leeway to get over his initial shock, but soon enough, he's going to be expected to act like a big boy.  (Reading this back...I'm realizing that I should stop I clearly am a little hormonal.  So, I'll "see" you all tomorrow, after my beta results).


Christina said...

Looking really great there with those tests! Can't wait to hear your beta results!

Also, that is so awesome about your night out with your fertility friends!

Anonymous said...

I am SOOOO happy for you!!! I know how difficult it is to struggle with infertility, POAS experiences, and beta results. I feel so positive and optimistic this is it for you!! Can't wait to hear your beta results. You so deserve this and have been through so much. Thinking of you! =)


Lindsey said...

Your sticks look awesome! Can't wait to hear the beta results!! Grow Hamish Grow!

New Year Mum said...

Sorry about my slow commenting this week... relatives are staying and heaps of work happening, so it make it very difficult to get on my home computer :( Been thinking of you all week... those tests are definitely getting more POSITIVE :)) Can't wait for your beta post.... how exciting :))) Such wonderful news and to such a gorgeous mum... I can already hear your love for your little one/s :) With you every step of the way. Love always xoxo

Endo_Life said...

It is Thursday afternoon for me so probably about 9am for you. Good luck today with the blood tests I hope you get the results quickly and don't get kept waiting for them x

New Year Mum said...

I don't know what's going on with Blogger... but I've finally made it to my computer this morning to comment on your beta post that I saw on my phone but it's not here ! I lost my last post too... hopefully they will appear again soon :) I'm so happy for you and have been so excited to read your news via my phone this week... you have every right to be excited and cherish every moment - you are so sweet to think of us all but we are all excited with us and your story gives us all hope :) Love to you always xoxo